


As long as he needs me

by FanTitanStar



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Aftercare, Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Childhood Friends, Collage, Domestic Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fights, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Lance (Voltron), I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith & Shiro (Voltron) are Foster Siblings, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lotor is a jerk in this story, Lotor is mean :(, M/M, Mild Smut, Mutual Pining, Non-Graphic Smut, Physical Abuse, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Rape/Non-con Elements, Slow Burn, Song fic, There is only mentioned smut so don't just read it for smut, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Toxic Relationship, Unhealthy Relationships, fluff after while., friend support, klance is endgame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2019-07-14 21:55:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 18,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16049342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanTitanStar/pseuds/FanTitanStar
Summary: After Lotor kicks Lance out of their dorm room for the night, Lance runs into an old friend. An old friend he still has feelings for, one that has feelings for him as well...But he can't leave Lotor for Keith, no matter how much he wants to.Lotor loves him more than anyone can.Lotor does truly care about him.Right?AKA Lance is trapped in an abusive relationship and his old friend helps him out





	1. Will you still love me tomorrow?

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for abuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for abuse

 

Lance sighed as he looked over at the clock for nearly the 50th time that night. It was nearly 11pm and Lotor still had yet to arrive at their dorm.

Lance didn't even know why he was waiting for him anymore. It was obvious that Lotor was going to show up the next morning (once again) with lipstick on his collar and a lame excuse. 

Lance wiped away a stray tear at the thought. 

No. 

...Lotor loved him. 

 

Lance looked down at his open textbook which lay on his lap.

He was supposed to be studying for his English exam the next day but he couldn't bring himself to pay attention to anything he read.

He sighed and shut the book, placing it to his side before standing up. 

He needed to get out.

 

Maybe he could go to a late night cafe and just clear his mind, take a break. Walking around for a bit would probably clear his head and help him refocus. Lance shoved his wallet, keys and phone into the sweatshirts pocket and pulled on his shoes.

His key chain was empty, accept for a small blue flower chain with his name on it and a small light up chain with Lotor's name. Lotor had insisted that he had a key chain with his name on it so everyone could, "know who he belong to." 

He also had insisted on making Lance's phone background a picture of him. 

Every little thing Lance did, Lotor somehow found a way to control it....

 

 

Lance grabbed his sweatshirt from his desk chair and shrugged it on.

He then made his way to the dorm door and opened it. 

 

It wasn't until the door was fully open until Lance realized that as he was opening it, someone on the other side was as well. Upon opening the door Lance came face to face with Lotor. 

 

"Lotor!" Lance said is surprise. He had been sure that Lotor wasn't going to come back to their dorm until at least 2am. 

"Lance...where are you going?"

Lance noticed Lotor's dark tone and gulped. 

"I-I was just going out for a break."

"A break?" Lotor asked eyebrow raised. 

"Yeah, I can't focus on studying."

 

Lotor took a step forward, making Lance take a step back.

"Right...and your just going to go without asking me first?"

Lance looked down, feeling the pressure of Lotor's gaze.

"I-"

"You know better than that Lance."

"I forgot, i'm sorry." Lance pleaded. Lotor towered over Lance and Lance took a couple more steps back into the dorm room. 

"Did you forget? Or were you just planning on going out to meet someone. Are you cheating on me Lance?"

"W-What? No Lotor, you know that I would never." Lance felt himself sweat and knew that he only looked guilty. The fact was that he was scared.

 

Scared of what he knew Lotor was going to do next. 

 

 

Lotor glared at Lance, he took Lance's chin in his hand and tilted his chin up, making his eyes meet his own.

 

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." Lance responded hoping to quickly dispel Lotor's anger.

 

Lotor pushed Lance into the room and the door shut loudly behind him. 

"L-Lotor?"

Lotor shoved Lance back hard. Lance stumbled down to the floor and let out a light "oomf." when he collided with the floor. Lance looked up at Lotor and knew instantly what was going to happen. 

As predicted, Lance willed himself to stay numb to Lotor's punches and words and focus instead on his breathing. 

 

Lance knew that he had made Lotor mad, and now he had to suffer the consequences. 

What must have been five minutes - felt like an hour as Lotor finally stopped punching and yelling. Lance was very aware of the the tears streaming down his cheeks but made no effort to wipe them away, knowing that the gesture would only serve to piss Lotor off even more. 

Lotor sat down next to Lance but he didn't look at Lotor and instead stared blankly ahead. 

 

"Baby, I'm sorry, you know how nervous I get," Lotor pulled Lance into his chest and held him close. "I just don't like when you lie to me."

Lance bared his face into Lotors shirt and breathed in the scent. He smelled on smoke and flowery perfume. A perfume Lance knew didn't belong to Lotor. 

Lance felt sick. He wanted **so badly** to _ask_ where Lotor had been. 

Thinking maybe he wasn't as faithful as he claims...

...

...But Lotor could never -  he would never

Lance pushed that thought aside

 

"I'm sorry." Lance said instead. 

"I know baby, but I am still mad." 

Lance stiffened. He knew that Lotor was not done quite yet. Lotor's next move however, he didn't know. 

 

Lotor pulled Lance up and placed a hard kiss against his lips. 

Lance eagerly melted into the kiss, he ignored the pounding pain he had across his cheek and stomach. When they pulled apart, Lotor placed a kiss on his cheek and wiped away Lance's tears. 

"I love you." Lotor said, his tone was soft and kind. 

"I-I love you too." Lance forced a smile onto his face, knowing that Lotor would get mad if he didn't.

 

"Empty your pockets."

"H-Huh?"

"Empty your pockets." Lotor repeated more urgently, a kind smile still present on his face. 

Lance had a bad feeling but nonetheless emptied his pockets. He handed Lotor his wallet, phone and keys shaking slightly. Lotor quickly accepted them all and placed a kiss on his lips one more time before shoving Lance back to the dorm door. 

 

"W-Wha-?"

"Get out."

"Lotor wha-"

"I said get out. Go to your boy toy. I'm sure he'll be waiting for you." Lotor sneered.

Dread spread in Lance's stomach. "Lotor, no, you know your the only one. I-I am not seeing anyone. You know thi-"

"Get out Lance." 

"No, I don't-"

"What did you just say to me?" Lotor asked, towering over Lance once again. Lance looked down and accepted defeat. After staying quiet, Lotor spoke again, "That's what I thought." 

Lance knew that the second Lotor closed the door he would be alone, without his phone or wallet. What would he do? Where would he go? It wasn't like he had friends he could sleepover with. Lotor had made sure that he didn't. 

 

"Goodbye slut." Lotor said before _slamming_ the door shut. 

 

Lance stood in front of the door for a while, hoping that Lotor would open the door and apologize but after a couple of minutes passed by, it was clear he wasn't going to do that.

Lance sighed and made his way to the elevators. He pulled his sweatshirt sleeves passed his knuckles and stepped into the elevator.

Thankfully, it was empty, most people would be either asleep or out and he prayed that he wouldn't run into anyone.

 

Once the elevator door shut, Lance allowed himself to fully break down. 

 

_What was he going to do?_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we introduce Keith
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Comments and Kudos are appreciated :DDDD
> 
> Tumblr: https://fantitanstar.tumblr.com/
> 
> Title of chapter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLA7sanwnN8


	2. You've got two black eyes from loving too hard

 

Upon walking out of the elevator, Lance was an absolute mess. 

His eyes were red and puffy from crying, his noise was runny and the bruises from Lotor were starting to appear on him in ugly purple and red marks. 

 

He was thankful to find that no one was outside the elevator upon the doors opening. He made his way out of the building and out into the chilly October air.

 His sweatshirt thankfully provided enough warmth. He pulled up the hood of his hoodie, hoping it would hide his current state if he were to run across anyone. 

 

If he had his phone he could try calling Hunk. 

Although he hadn't talked to Hunk in almost 6 months he was sure that he would probably still let him crash at his dorm for the night. He made his way down the street and walked a couple of blocks to a more occupied part of town. 

Upon getting to Altea street, he began to see people. There was a club and bar on this street, along with a couple of 24 hour fast food places.

 

He looked around and tried to make a decision.

He didn't have any money to buy and food and hanging around a store without buying anything would most likely make him get kicked out. He also didn't want to go into the club. That place was simply full of awful memories.

Lance shuddered at the thought. 

 

That brought him to his last option. 

The bar. 

 

Lance took a deep breath before walking over the bar and entering. 

The bar did have a good amount of people in it. Lance didn't pay them any attention and made his way to a corner table with his head down. 

He sat down in the creeky booth and prayed that no one noticed him. 

 

He sat there for a while, head down on the table, until he heard someone walk in front of the booth. Must be a waiter, Lance thought, although he made no move to lift his head up.

"Hello, my name is Keith and i'll be your server tonight." 

 

Lance felt himself freeze instantly. 

Keith.

Keith Kogane. 

As in Keith Kogane....his old friend.

 

Lance wished that the floor would swallow him. He couldn't handle this, especially after what had just went down. 

Lance looked up at Keith. 

 

Keith was still just as attractive as he had been 6 months ago. His black hair was pulled up into a ponytail and his eyes were still as purple as an Amethyst. 

He was taller than Lance remembered (he probably had grown 2 or 3 inches) and when the look of recognition passed on Keith's face, Lance felt shame fall on him.

 

"Lance..."

"Hey Keith.."

 

The tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

"H-How are you?" Keith asked, he looked completely baffled. 

"I'm...i'm fine.." Lance said, almost in a whisper. 

"What, what happened to your cheek?"

 

Lance unconsciously touched his cheek. "I um-"

"It was Lotor wasn't it?" Keith asked, slipping down next to Lance in the booth. Lance sighed and nodded, he fumbled with his sleeves. 

"What happened?" 

"Nothing just...he-we got into a fight.." 

 

Keith didn't looked convinced but dropped the topic. 

"Look Keith i'm sorry about what happened I-"

"Do you need somewhere to stay tonight?" Keith asked, cutting Lance off. 

"I um, yeah but-"  

"I get off of work in 30 minutes. Do you want to stay the night at my dorm?"

 

"It's okay, I don't want to bother you." 

"No, I think it's best that you do." Keith got up.

"I'll be right back with your coke and fries. On the house." 

 

Lance sighed in relief as Keith walked away. It was comforting to know that he had a place to stay for the night. Even if Lotor wouldn't be too pleased about it.

He was also happy that he and Keith hadn't gotten into the inevitable conversation about _what had happened 6 months ago._

 

Keith came back shortly after with the coke and fries and gave Lance a shaky smile before leaving. It was kinda touching that Keith still remembered _their_ tradition from high school. After one of them had a bad day, the two of them would go out and get fries. Keith had always ordered Sprite. Lance always had ordered a coke.

The two of them had grown up together so that wasn't took surprising. 

 

He sat in the booth eating fries and watching the time on the clock above the door tick by. 

 

It was only one night at Keith's dorm. 

What was the worse thing that could happen? 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading :DD
> 
> Kudos and Comments are much appreciated :DD
> 
> Tumblr: https://fantitanstar.tumblr.com/
> 
> Title of chapter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dQ1xiy-4hY


	3. You get under my skin, more than anyone's ever been. But when we lay in bed you hold me hard 'til I forget

_ -FLASHBACK- _

 

Lance had known Keith from way back in middle school. 

It had been the second semester of 7th grade, when Keith Kogane came and was introduced to his class. Right of the bat, Lance had been drawn to the emo and moody boy, there was something about the boy that had interested him …

 

During lunch, Lance had sat next to Keith and introduced himself. They spent the rest of the lunch period talking and soon enough, the two of them became best friends. 

Throughout that time, Lance and Keith opened up to each other (Lance sooner than Keith) and eventually Lance had learned a lot about Keith’s past. 

 

Keith had told him about when he had come from a foster home into their town. 

Shiro (a freshman in high school at the time) was his foster brother - thanks to his parent taking him in. 

Keith had been living with his dad up until then. His mom had been absent for as long as Keith could remember. 

Apparently Keith’s birth father had always been a drug addict and, although he never had hurt Keith, child services had taken Keith away.

 

It was clear that Keith really missed his birth dad. 

Lance didn’t blame him though, he didn’t know what he would do without  _ his _ family.. 

 

All throughout high school, the two of them were still best friends. Although Lance was more social than Keith was, the two of them couldn’t be seen without the other. 

Keith and Lance - Lance and Keith.

 

 

They were unstoppable. Both of them always competing to come up top in their classes. Keith however ended up being the Valedictorian, not that Lance minded, Keith had deserved it. 

 

It was no wonder that the two of them ended up going to the same collage. When they both accepted to “Voltron University” it had been a glorious day for the two of them. Voltron University was the top college in the country and the same collage Shiro went to. 

 

The two of them had shared a dorm for the first year. 

While there, they had formed their own group of friends comprised of a human teddy bear and baker, Hunk; A tec wiz and sassy gremlin, Pidge; A smart and beauty queen, Allura; As well as a fierce and kind hearted girl, Romelle. 

 

Lance and Keith had met them all in the schools pride club, and they all instantly clicked. All of them hanged out almost everyday. 

They had occasionally spend the night at the other’s dorm. They had gone out to cafe to study and gone to movies and snuck into clubs. 

 

It had been one faithful visit to a club one night that lead Lance to Lotor.

 

Now, Lance had dated men before. He had also dated girls. He was proudly bisexual and was a hopeless romantic. He also loved dancing. 

Lance had been dancing when all of a sudden, Lotor asked to dance with him. 

Lotor was good looking and a good dancer, and at the end of the night, they had exchanged numbers. 

 

The two of them, Lance and Lotor, had began to go on dates.

After the first one, Lance had been on cloud nine. Lotor  _ was _ just absolutely  _ perfect. _

  
  


Their relationship had gotten serious really fast. Lotor had began to demand Lance’s attention 24/7 and constantly asked him where he was and who he was with. 

It then escalated to Lotor tracking his phone and making Lance be at his dorm every night. 

After a month of not being at his and Keith’s dorm, that had been the first time Keith had made a comment about Lotor. 

“You haven't slept here in a month Lance, what’s going on?” Keith had asked. 

“Nothing, I’m just staying at Lotor’s dorm.” Lance had replied. 

“You two are getting really serious huh? It’s only been like a month though.” 

“Yeah but, we really do care about each other.” 

Keith had made no further comments.

  
  


A couple weeks later, the rest of his friends began to express their own concern about Lotor.

 

“Lance he just seems a little controlling.” Romelle had said. 

“Lotor seems to be ‘getting mad’ a lot.” Hunk had remarked.

“Lotor is a dick.” Pidge had commented with a glare. “Have you seen him interact with anyone?” 

  
  


Lance had shrugged off their concern for months. His friends however, didn’t become less worried. 

 

-

 

It had been a couple weeks into the final semester when Lotor had first beat him up.

Lance had been out too late. 

 

His friends had grown enraged upon seeing his wound and all demanded that he break up with Lotor than and there. Lance refused and their friend dynamic turned sour. 

 

When Lotor had (somehow) heard about it, he had demanded that Lance drop them. When Lance refused, he threatened to break up with him. 

 

Lance couldn’t lose Lotor. 

But he couldn’t lose his friends. 

Especially not Keith. 

 

Lance and Lotor had fought for nearly a month until things turned even more physical than usual. 

 

Lotor would constantly punch and yell at Lance. 

He would call Lance worthless and a waste of space. 

He had told Lance that no one in the universe loved him except for him. 

 

Lance had to start wearing makeup to hide all of his bruises. And after a while, Lance began to believe what Lotor told him. 

 

But it had been one horrid night, that made Lance leave his friends. 

It had started out with Lotor and him yelling at each other (once again) but took an awful twist when Lotor had turned a knife on him…… 

 

What started out as a fight had quickly escalated when Lotor had pulled out a knife and pressed against his throat. 

When Lotor had done that, the world had slowed down. Memories had flashed by Lance’s eyes. 

That was when he realized how stuck he was. Lotor was controlling him, beating him, and now he was threatening to kill him and for what?

Because Lance had friends. 

 

He had managed to calm Lotor down and promise to drop his friends. Lotor had been delighted. 

 

Lance  had met up with his friends one last time before breaking it off.  

He had blamed them all for everything and had insulted them all to the point where he knew he had gone  _ way _ too far. He saw the looks of betrayal on all of their faces. 

Keith’s the most. 

He had then left them all. And for what? 

 

He knew his friends didn’t like him or love him. 

Lotor had told him that. 

He knew that no one would ever love him except Lotor.

Lotor had told him that too. 

 

So why did it still hurt? 

Why did he have to leave them behind? 

  
  


It was because Lotor had wanted him to.

It was because Lotor had told him to.

Because if he didn’t, who knows what Lotor would have done to his friends, what he would have done to him. 

 

Lance from that point forward, never questioned Lotor.

Lotor loved him. No one else did. 

  
  
  


-END FLASHBACK-

 

 

“Lance.”

Hey snapped out of his thoughts and looked up at Keith who was now sitting across from him again. Keith was no longer wearing his uniform Lance noted. 

 

“Hey um, my shift just ended, are you ready to head to my dorm?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah sure, let’s go.”

  
  


The two of them made their way to the bar’s doors. 

“Hey um...thank you Keith. I really..I really appreciate it. “

Keith looked at him with an unreadable expression. “It’s no problem.” 

 

Lance had left his friends. 

Lance had left Keith. The one person he always promised that he wouldn’t leave. 

Lance began to fiddle with the sleeves of his hoodie once again (it being a habit at that point,) and signed. 

 

 

_ I am the worst. _

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for reading!! :D
> 
>  
> 
> Comments and Kudos are much appreciated :DDD
> 
> Tumblr: https://fantitanstar.tumblr.com/
> 
> Chapter Title: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNAVeJFb2tM


	4. You want me to change, see things your way. It's easy to see, i'm losing me, one little piece at a time

 

Keith’s dorm was on the opposite side of where Lance’s was and therefore, took longer to walk to.

Keith had apologized about the distance, saying that he had let Hunk borrow his car that night, but Lance insisted that he didn’t mind walking.

 

The two of them walked in mostly silence, the tension around them was thick.

 

Well that was to be expected, after all, the last time the two of them had been together it had been  six months ago and it hadn’t gone well.

 

\--

 

The two of them entered an apartment building on the campus called “ The Mormora” and the two of them got into the elevator.

 

“So..how have you been?” Lance asked after the door’s shut.

“I’ve been fine. I had a final this morning so I am pretty worn out.” Keith said, pressing the 4th floor button.

“Oh, what class?”

“Astronomy.”

“Ah. “

“So..how have you been?” Keith asked, hesitation was evident in his tone.

“Fine.”

“How is your family doing?”

“Good. I haven’t really talked to them in a while though.”

 

The door to the elevator opened and the two of them got out. Keith lead Lance down a couple of doors until he stopped and pulled out a key from his pocket.

Lance shifted uncomfortably behind Keith, the hallway was empty but it felt weird to be going into Keith’s dorm after everything that had happened.

 

The door opened, and the two of them entered the dorm.

 

It was slightly messy, a couple of sweatshirts and and wrappers layed around what was obviously Keith side of the room (if the hippo plushie and band posters were anything to go on).

“My roommate isn’t really around so you can sleep on his bed.” Keith said, gesturing to the blank looking bed.

“Okay, thank you.” Lance sat down on the bed and folded into a ball. He really wanted Keith to sleep in bed with him, because he missed Lotor’s body warmth. No, he missed the feeling of someone else being there with him. Lance just settled for sleeping alone though.

 

“So..do you want to talk about it? Did Lotor just give that to you?” Keith said, placing his hand on his own cheek, a clear indication that he was talking about Lance’s bruise.

 

“You already know what happened Keith, he got mad and he…” Lance lead off not wanting to say the rest out loud.

 

“So, you live with him now right?” Keith asked, sitting down on his own bed.

Lance nodded. “Yeah, we share a dorm.”

“And-I’m assuming that he kicked you out...”

Lance glared at Keith slightly but remained quiet.

 

“So...what do you want to do now? Are you going to get your things from him tomorrow? Are you going to stay here? I mean you're welcomed to do so.” Keith looked around the room nervously. Lance thought it was odd offering his roommates free space. He felt guilty for not talking to Keith ever since he started dating Lotor, he also felt he was to blame for the fading friendship-no not friends, that felt too weird, whatever the relationship they built together. Lance felt like it their bond is in broken shards, and their both trying to pick up the pieces, that's why Lance responded with,

 

“Thank you but, I think that I’m good. I just need to let Lotor calm down tonight, then I’ll just go back to our dorm.” except, Lance didn’t know if it was more of Lotor’s than his.

“Go back?” Keith echoed in disbelief.

“Well I mean yeah.”

“But he hurt you Lance. He had been hurting you for what, 8 months?” Keith questioned. Lance felt like that was an unfair insult to his relationship with Lotor.

 

_What did Keith even know about it?_

 

“He’s my boyfriend.” Lance said, a defensiveness taking over his voice.

 

“So?” Keith asked leaning back.

“So he loves me Keith. And I love him.” Lance said shakaly. He truly himself, wasn’t even that sure if that was how Lotor felt anymore but nonetheless, he pushed that thought down.

 

This was a fight Keith and Lance had had almost daily before Lance had cut him loose. It usually ended with one of them storming away. Instead of Keith storming away, he stayed seated and looked at Lance with a defeated expression.

 

It took a minute where it looked as if Keith debated with himself. Keith finally sighed and nodded slowly. “Okay.”

 

Lance uncurled himself and lay back onto the bed. He stared at the plain white ceiling.

“Why are you letting me stay here?” Lance asked after a moment.

 

Lance heard Keith shift on the bed.

 

“I’m letting you stay here because we’re best friends.”

 

That caught Lance off guard. And something in Lance’s heart twinged.

“Huh?”

 

“You have been my friend for like 8 years Lance, of course I am going to help you any way I can. I know that...you probably don’t think of me as your best friend anymore but I mean, you can’t just erase years of friendship now can you?” Keith asked his volume going down as he spoke.

 

Lance didn’t respond and instead looked over at Keith.

 

Keith was still as cute as Lance remembered.

“No, you can’t.” he said, smiling.

Keith smiled back.

  


\----

  


Keith let Lance borrow some of his clothes and soon enough, the two of them lay in their own beds in darkness. Lance still wished Keith would lay with him, but he would never ask this of him, considering all the awkwardness. He was lucky enough that Keith was even allowing him to sleepover.

 

“Hey Lance?” Keith whispered

“Hmm?”

“Can you...I-I mean...do you think that maybe you would want to be friends again. Like with the rest of the gang?’’ He spoke softly and slowly

“I don’t know Keith. It’s complicated.”

 

Keith didn’t question Lance and let it go for the time being.

“Good night Lance.”

“G’night Keith.”

 

It didn’t take long for sleep to find Lance, he was already so exhausted.

The next day he would go back to Lotor and hopefully by then, Lotor would have forgiven him.

Until then, he allowed himself to sleep.

All while hoping nightmares wouldn't come.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for reading! 
> 
> I really appreciate all the lovely comments I have gotten :D Thank you so much they really mean a lot :D
> 
> Again, thank you SO much for reading!  
> Comments and kudos are appreciated :D
> 
> Chapter Title: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcGxSbdSZao  
> My Tumblr: https://fantitanstar.tumblr.com


	5. You love when I fall apart, so you can put me together,and throw me against the wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO UPDATE!!!

****

  


  


The next morning, Keith drove Lance to English. Keith had asked Lance to text him later and Lance agreed. He wasn't sure if he would pull through though. 

He wanted to see Keith again but right now, that didn't seem like a possibility. 

  


  


\--

  


When his final was over, Lance felt defeated. He had completely bullshitted it and he hoped that he passed. When it was over, he exited the english building just to come face to face with none other than Lotor. 

  
  


Lance felt nervous upon seeing Lotor standing at the side of the building . He looked calm, not angry. Lotor was looking around for someone and when Lotor and Lance’s eyes locked, Lance felt instant fear wash over him. 

  


“Baby!” Lotor said, racing over to Lance and pulling him into a hug. 

“I was so worried!” Lance felt stiff and blank and didn’t return the hug. 

Images of the previous night flashed him his eyes. He felt himself shrink in Lotor’s embrace.

  


Lotor pulled out of the hug and frowned, seeing the expression on Lance’s face. 

  


“Are you mad at me?” Lotor asked, cupping Lance’s cheeks. 

Lance didn’t meet Lotor’s gaze and instead looked down. 

  


Why was Lotor even here?

What did he even want? 

  


“Look, I know I messed up last night and…..I want to make it up to you.” 

  


Lance frowned but looked up at Lotor. 

  


Lotor’s eyes were vulnerable and sad, and Lance instantly felt guilty for making Lotor upset. He didn’t say anything though, fearing that he would only make Lotor mad by mistake. 

  


“Lance?” Lotor asked, now holding Lance’s shoulder with his hand. Lotor was holding his hard enough that Lance knew he couldn’t just walk away but lightly enough that it didn’t cause him any pain...not yet at least. 

  


“Lance, I promise I can fix it okay? I was just...I was just mad and i’m sorry. Please Lance, let me make it up to you.” 

  


Lance gave in (due to habit at that point) and nodded slowly. “Okay…” 

Lotor’s face brightened up instantly and something twisted in Lance’s stomach. 

  


“Thank you honey.” Lotor said, placing a kiss on Lance’s cheek. 

“How about we go to the aquarium?” Lotor asked. 

  


Lotor knew that was Lance’s favorite place. 

  


“Okay.” Lance said, allowing a small smile to appear on his face. 

Lotor pulled Lance into a kiss. 

Lotor’s lips were rough and demanding. Kissing Lotor no longer made Lance feel warm and fuzzy like it once had. It no longer made him feel happy. For some reason, his thoughts went to Keith. What was Keith doing right now?

What would Keith think if he were to see him now?

  


Lance felt sick. 

  


He and Lotor pulled apart and Lotor wrapped his arm around Lance’s waist and held him close. “To the aquarium!” Lotor said cheerfully. 

  


He and Lotor made their way back to Lotor’s car. 

  


On the way to the aquarium, the radio filled the void of silence. Lance could feel tension coming off of Lotor.

  


“A-Are you okay?” He asked, playing with the end of his hoodie. 

Lotor huffed and shook his head. 

“W-what’s wrong?” 

Lotor stayed silent for a moment before asking, 

  


“Where did you go last night?” 

  


Lance felt himself freeze, his mind racing. 

  


“What do you mean?”

  


Play dumb. That was a good idea. 

  


“I mean that you didn’t sleep in the dorm last night after our...fight...where did you go?” 

  


“Umm...well...I went to a 24 hour coffee shop nearby. I didn’t really get a chance to sleep.” Lance lied. 

It wasn’t like he could just tell Lotor about Keith. That would definitely make Lotor freak out. 

  


“Okay.” Lotor said, thankfully believing the lie. 

  


Lance laid his head against the cool window of Lotor’s car and watched the landscape pass by. 

Lance felt guilty about lying but what else could he have done? 

  


All he could do was hope that Lotor wouldn’t find out the truth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Comments and Kudos are appreciated :DDDD
> 
> Tumblr: https://fantitanstar.tumblr.com/
> 
> Chapter Title: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoTJzQOM1do


	6. I love the way you hurt me, it's irresistible

 

 

Lance and Lotor had spent the afternoon at the aquarium. 

Lance had had a good time hanging out with Lotor. They had seen a countless number amount of fish and exhibits. Lance loved seeing the sea turtles and dolphins.

Lotor had held his hand thw whole time and had acted calm and treated Lance kindly. 

Hanging out at the aquarium reminded Lance of the way things had used to be between the two of them. It reminded Lance of the old Lotor of whom he had fallen in love with...well...had fallen in love with. 

 

Lance had fallen in love with the Lotor that was full of affection and sweet words.

Lotor who was gentle and witty. The one that he barely saw anymore. 

 

Lotor had cracked jokes and had been sweet the whole time. And Lance found himself seeing the old Lotor but even then..well.. 

Lance wasn't sure if he loved Lotor anymore. 

 

He knew that he didn't love the Lotor that yelled and screamed. 

Lotor that kicked and punished him. 

He wasn't sure if he even loved the Lotor who held him close and said sweet words anymore. 

 

Everyday with Lotor was a hurricane of emotions, all of them negative. Lance was drowning in everything Lotor threw him way. 

 

 

So, why was he with Lotor?

 

 

 

"Hey babe! Do you want to get some food?" Lotor asked.

It was nearly five and the two of them were making their way back to Lotor's car. 

"Y-yeah! That'll be fun." Lance said with a smile. Lotor beamed and wrapped an arm around Lance. And he leaned into Lotor's touch.

It was so messed up but....he couldn't imagine leaving Lotor. 

 

The two of them had went to an ice cream parlor near campus and they had spent nearly an hour talking. 

Lance pasted on a happy smile but inside, he was in a whirlwind of emotions.

 

He was sad. Sad that Lotor would hurt him. 

He was happy. Happy that Lotor had taken him on a date. 

He was mad. Mad that Lotor thought that the date could make up for everything. 

He also was guilty. Guilty about that fact that he had been with Keith the other night. 

 

 

He pushed all of that down though. And for then, he enjoyed his time with Lotor. 

 

* * *

 

 

That night, Lotor had returned Lance's phone, wallet, and keys. He had kissed him goodbye before heading out for the night to go and "study" with some people. 

Lance watched Lotor go and was left alone. 

 

Lance stared at his phone debating whether or not he should text Keith. 

He picked up his phone and was greeted with the familiar picture of him and Lotor. He ignored it however and went to his messages. 

Although Lotor had erased all of his friends numbers from his phone, he still knew Keith's number by heart. 

 

He sent a simple " _Hello_ " to Keith and waited in anticipation for a responds. 

**Hey Lance**

 

 

Lance ignored any doubt he had and responded. 

 

 

_L: Hey Keith_

**K: How are you doing? How was your final?**

_L: I'm doing okay. My final was awful, I am pretty sure that I failed it. :(_

**K: Aw, i'm sorry to hear that :(  At lest you tried your hardest.**

_L: True_

**K: So..I guess you got your phone back**

_L: Yeah, Lotor gave it back._

**K: Oh...**

 

_L: How have you been? What have you been up to?_

**K: Nothing really, I have just mostly been focused on the band I joined a while ago. I went to Shiro's over the break again and that was cool. I didn't see you in town though. Did you stay here for the holiday?**

_L: Oh cool! And yeah, I stayed here._

**K: So....**

_L: So.._

**K: Are we just going to ignore what happened or are we going to adress it?**

 

Lance felt dread fill him stomach. This was happening. 

He took a deep breath and typed. 

 

_L: Look Keith, i'm really sorry. I am sorry about what I said, about lying for so long and for pushing you away. I understand if you are still mad at me.._

**K: I just want to know why you did it? You still haven't told me why.**

_L: You know why Keith...._

 

Lance waited for a couple of minutes in anticipation, watching dots keep appearing and then disappearing. 

**K: Lance, what happened?**

_L: Lotor happened._

**K: What?**

_L: Can we please not talk about this?_

**K: Okay. But, your going to have to tell me eventually.**

_L: I know just...not tonight.._

**K: Okay**

 

The two of them spent a couple hours texting back and forth until the two of them stopped in order to retire to bed. 

Lance lay in bed, unable to sleep. He looked over at the glowing alarm clock on his side table and saw that it read 1:25am. He rolled back again to face the wall and stared at the darkness. 

 

He began to think about Keith. 

Keith for some reason wanted to talk to him. Lance was greatful for that. But, what if things didn't go back to the way they were? What if he fucked up again and pushed Keith away?

 

A sudden noise made Lance freeze in alert. 

He heard the unmistakable sound of key's jingling. 

Lotor was back. 

 

Lance stayed still as Lotor walked in. Lance heard Lotor crash against the furniture.

"Are you sure about this?" a feminine voice said.

Lance's blood ran cold. What the fuck was happening?

"Yeah, that's just my roommate. He could sleep during a earthquake, don't worry." 

"Okay."

 

Lance heard the two of them (Lotor and the mystery girl) crash onto Lotor's bed. 

Lance felt tears swell in his eyes. 

How many times had this happened outside of this room? How many times inside this room? How many times with him there? 

 

Lotor was cheating on him in the same room and he could do nothing about it. 

Lance quietly sobbed as Lotor and the girl found their release. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp...Lotors a dick...
> 
> Thank you SO much for reading!!!  
> Comments and Kudos are much appreciated!! 
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter Title: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8BGAYXNW74  
> Tumblr: https://fantitanstar.tumblr.com/


	7. Only person that you ever cared about was you, that's why it's so funny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for mention of rape in this chapter

 

The next morning, Lance woke up to the noise of people walking around the dorm room. Lance also heard light chatter. 

Memories of the previous night hit him and he felt his heart clutch up in pain.

"So...do you want to do another round really quickly?" Lotor asked. 

"Sure, just um..come here." 

 

Lance sat up quickly, wanting Lotor to see him awake, and stared at Lotor and the unnamed girl. Lotor was laying on top of the girl, the two of them making out. 

Lance felt numb upon that scene and cleared his throat. 

Lotor and the girl pulled apart. 

 

"Oh umm...Hi?" The girl said awkwardly. 

 

She had long blonde hair and a flush on her cheeks. 

"Hey. This is Lance my roommate. Lance, this is Nyma." Lotor said without much emotion. 

 

Lance felt a sense of hopelessness. 

Lotor wasn't even trying to hide what had been happening just then between him and who he claimed was 'Nyma'. What was he supposed to do? 

What should he even say to this?

 

"Hi." Lance said weakly. 

 

Nyma nodded and then got out from under Lotor. 

"Well _babe_ , he's awake ad we can't fuck with watching eyes," She looked at Lance, "Unless you wanna join...?"

Lance felt a twinge of pain from the 'babe' comment. he wondered  _how long was this going on?_ and he definitely did not like the idea of joining on whatever "that" was.

Lance rapidly shook his head and the girl shrugged.

"Okay, I should probably get going anyways." 

She got up and to the door, and pulled on a pair of slutty heels. She opened the door and turned back towards Lotor. 

"Bye, thanks for the fun! See you around." She winked before closing the door and leaving Lotor and Lance alone. 

 

 

Lance sat for a moment waiting, no - expecting - Lotor to be giving him 100 excuses on what just happened. 

Instead, Lotor glared at Lance. 

"Oh my god, why did you have to get up? I was about to get more!" 

Lance looked at him in alarm. "W-what? Are you kidding me? I'm your _boyfriend_. Did you hear that? I am your _BOYFRIEND_! How could you fucking do this to me?" Lance got to his feet, feeling adrenaline push threw his veins. 

"Oh whatever, it's not like you would have wanted to have sex anyways. You are so lame. The last time we did you were so bitchy about it afterwards." 

Lance felt his throat close up. 

 

The last time the two of them had had sex had been almost two months ago. 

Lotor had wanted it and Lance hadn't. When telling Lotor this he had been ignored.

Lotor hadn't listened.

 

They two of them had never talked about it since and for Lotor to bring it up now?

 

"Lotor, I was _IN THE SAME room_! Why the _hell_ would you do this to me?" 

"To you? Your such a _slut_ I thought you wouldn't give a shit. Come ON Lance, this is _not_ a big deal." 

"'Not a big deal?'"

 

Lances heart was racing, his mind consumed by panic. 

Everything about this hurt. 

 

 

Lotor stood up and towered over Lance. 

"It's not a big deal, I can do whatever I want, when I want. I'm not going to let you tell me what to do."

"I-I'm not!" 

"Oh shut up! You don't know shit Lance!" 

Lotor-"

"No, I'm talking right now Lance."

"Lotor please calm-" 

 

A loud slap echoed in the space around them. 

 

Lance's eyes burned with tears.

_Shit_

 

 

 

Silence. 

 

Lance signed and grabbed his backpack from off the floor. He quickly stiffed in a shirt,a pair of pants, his phone, and wallet before pulling on his shoes. He opened the door when Lotor finally spoke up. 

"Come back later okay? I-I love you. I-I need you.." 

 

Lance stared at the dorm door across from him, and bit his lip. Lotors voice sounded desperate.

Lance felt himself feel remorse and guilt for making Lotor upset but..wasn't he himself support to be upset? Lotor was the one that had messed up...

 

"Okay, I will be. " But he wasn't sure if that was a lie.

 

Lance then closed the door and went to the elevators. 

Lotor's words echoed in his head.

_"I need you."_

 

 

 

L: Hey Keith...can we maybe grab some breakfast together?

 

It only took a second for Lance's phone to buzz. 

 

K: Sure! Does the pancake house on Malinion street work? 

L: Yeah! See you soon!

 

 

 

Lance was finally going to do it. 

He was going to tell Keith about Lotor. 

 

He was going to tell Keith everything.  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this chapter is short! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!  
> Comment's and Kudos are Welcomed. 
> 
> Chapter title: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1dmRjyN0CQ  
> Tumblr: https://fantitanstar.tumblr.com/


	8. Baby you don't know me, 'cause you're dead wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING FOR RAPE: It starts at -flashback- It isn't too explicit but it is still there so...

 

The last time the two of them had had sex had been almost two months ago. 

Lotor had wanted it and Lance hadn't. When telling Lotor this he had been ignored.

Lotor hadn't listened.

 

 

_-FLASH-BACK TO ALMOST TWO MONTHS AGO-_

 

 

Lance was lying on his stomach, chilling, watching Netflix on his bed.

He was in the middle of trying to find something to watch (which always took forever) when he heard his boyfriend walk in.

 

Lotor slammed the door open, startling Lance. Lotor had been out 'studying with friends' but Lance could instantly tell he was just a little tipsy - but not drunk.

 

"Hey babe, let's fuck." Lotor announced.

Lance was surprised by Lotor's bluntness, it seemed he was talking to the walls.

"Okay, maybe later. Wanna watch some Netflix?" Lance briefly looked up from his computer. He didn't want to get laid so late into the night.

He just had an exhausting day in school and he was kinda tired. He hoped that Lotor would fall asleep soon. Lotor turned and glared at Lance.

 

"No. What's wrong with you? I said ' _let's fuck_ '" Lotor moved to the edge of the bed Lance was laying on.

"B-babe, I'm really tired. Can't we spend the evening cuddling inst-tead?" Lance felt scared from the glare and closing distance from Lotor.

Lotor stretched out his arm and physically closed Lance's laptop, tossing it to the side

"L-Lotor! That's expensive!"

"I love it when you stutter."

Lotor flipped Lance back into his mattress with brute strength. 

"L-Lotor w-what are you d-doing?"

 

Lotor ignored Lance and got on top of him. He pulled back his hips and used one of his hands to grope Lance through his pants. 

Lance's face was flushed but he tried to shove Lotor off. 

"Stop, I don't want-"

 

Lance was cut off but Lances lips reconnecting to his. Lance tried to knock Lotor off of him but he was unsuccessful.

Lotor grabbed his wrist and held them above his head. 

Lance tried to free his wrists from Lotor's harsh grip but was unable to. 

 

Lance felt so weak. And ashamed because he was starting to become hard from Lotor's groping, his body was betraying him.

 

Lotor practically ripped off all of Lance's clothes, even with Lance's kicks and hits, and wrapped his hand around Lance's growing erection. 

Lance felt so ashamed that his body was reacting in that way. 

"Stop it Lotor!" 

Lotor moved his hand up and down at a fast pace and stroked Lance's tip with his finger. 

 

He didn't want this. 

 

"Lotor stop it right now! I said that I don't want too, **get off of me now**!"

 

Lotor ignored Lance's words and took off his shirt one-handed. He stopped playing with Lance's penis for a second in order to shrug off his shirt but was quickly back on top of him. 

Lance tried to use his legs to push Lotor off, using all of his strength to do so. Lotor however, forced Lance's legs to spread wider and used his elbows to secure them by his hips.

Lance was now completely exposed. He felt as if he was about to cry.

 

"Lotor stop it!"

"Oh shut up Lance. It's gonna feel so good, don't make me gag you~" Lotor sneered. 

 

Lance felt tears spilling down his cheeks. 

Shit. 

 

Lotor quickly discarded his shirt and belt and leaned close to Lance with a grin. 

Lance shoved Lotor but it had no effect. 

 

_How had he gotten himself into this situation in the first place?_

_What did he do?_

 

Lotor had now managed to flip him onto his chest, his arms bound behind his back by Lotor's belt buckle. 

Lance felt so completely sick. 

 

Lotor loved him. 

Why was he doing this?

 

Lance held back a sob.

Lance was trapped.

 

 

 

- _END FLASHBACK-_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write something because I haven't updated in a while. Sorry, it's so short!! I am working on a much longer chapter that'll be up around the end of next week. Stay with me here, I apologize for such short notice and waiting (but I can assure you the next chapter will [most likely] be worth it) thank you.
> 
> -FanTitan
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter title: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn676-fLq7I


	9. I need to take back the light inside that you stole.

 

Lance went to Keith's dorm the next day instead of going to class.

Although he had come back the night prior, he still had every intention of talking to Keith. 

 

He knew that it was stupid to skip class but how else would he be able to meet up with Keith?

Lotor would demand to know where he was going if he tried to leave on his own, but if Lotor thought he was at class he could talk to Keith without being suspected of going against Lotor's demands. 

Lance refused to feel guilty about lying to Lotor this time. 

He  _needed_ to tell someone.

He  _needed_ to tell Keith.

 

Lance couldn't lie anymore to Keith.

He couldn't lie anymore to himself. 

 

 

Lotor was gone morning and had left without a word. Lance had been able to slip out without any confrontation. 

He walked out in the now colder weather, wrapped up in his coat. He went down the familiar path down campus to the Marmora building. 

Lance had tried several times to figure out what he would say to Keith. He decided to just wing it instead of overthinking.

He was going to tell Keith everything, and it was scary. 

 

What if Lotor found out that he had told someone?

What if Lotor found out about Keith?

 

Lance was already on his way, he had no time to consider these things. The walk was pretty long but the breeze was refreshing. 

 

Once he was finally outside the building, Lance texted Keith. 

L: I'm outside.

K: Okay, i'll be right down!

 

Lance shifted on his feet awkwardly waiting.

He prayed that he wouldn't be noticed but he noticed a couple of eyes go on him before quickly looking away. One pair of eyes looked at him longer as they talked by. A girl with a long pink ponytail looked at him intensely as she walked by. She glared at Lance slightly before turning the corner of the building.

 

 

_Huh..that's weird.._

 

 

He didn't have much time to ponder this however, due to Keith appearing at the door and opening it for him. 

"Sorry about that!" Keith said as they stepped onto the elevator.  

"Oh it's okay, I didn't have to wait too long." 

"How are you?

"Nervous." 

Keith offered Lance a smile. "It's going to be okay." 

 

Although Keith didn't know what exactly Lance wanted to talked about, Lance was sure that Keith got the message that it was about a serious matter.

Keith lead Lance to his dorm room once the elevator got to his floor and the two of them sat down on Keith's bed.  

 

"Okay so...i'm just gonna start and...please try to just let me get through it all before you say anything okay? I gotta do this now, I've....I've waited too long."

Keith scooted closer to Lance and squeezed his hand, providing Lance with some comfort. "Okay." 

 

"Lotor is...he isn't a good boyfriend. He's well, controlling. It well-I guess it all started h-happened maybe around a month into our relationship. It started out with little things. At first he just wanted to know where I went when I was out late. Then he wanted to know what m-me and you talked about, what I talked to others about. And then... it escalated."

Keith shifted on the bed. 

"He..he wanted my passwords and all my free time. He wanted me to stay at our dorm when I didn't have class. He wanted me to stop spending time with you and the others...especially you. He wanted a lot of sex and he...he got really mad if I disobeyed him. At first I didn't think much of it but, it just kept getting worse and worse. We got into fights over time and one night...he punched me."

 

Lance and Keith sat in silence for a moment. 

"And then...he held me close and promised that he wouldn't do it again. He said that he just got really mad and that he would make it up to me. He lied Keith. He fucking lied. He began to hurt me more. He went through my phone and each time I was out of the dorm he would beat me. He told me that I was worthless, that I was ugly and no one could love me, including my family..." 

 

Lance turned and sat across from Keith rather than being next to Keith. 

 

"One day Keith he..well, I wanted to go out with you and the gang and he got mad because he didn't want me too. We got into another fight and he pulled out k- knife.."

 

Keith stared at Lance with heavy intensity. Lance felt his voice quiver, the fear of that moment returning to him. 

"H-he told me that h-he would leave me if I l-left or continued to h-have friends. He p-pressed the k-knife against my throat a-and Keith I-I-I." 

 

Lance cut himself off with a sob. Tears were now flowing down his face. He could no longer keep them in. 

"I-I thought I-I was going t-to d-die!" Lance sobbed. 

 

Keith quickly pulled Lance into a tight embrace. Lance bared his face in Keith's shoulder. Sobs escaped his mouth and Keith swayed him back and forth in his arms. 

Lance felt so safe in Keith's arms, It was as if no one else mattered in the universe but the both of them.

 

Once his tears had settled, Lance continued. 

"S-so I made you and everyone else hate m-me. I'm so s-sorry Keith I didn't know what else to do and s-shit, i'm just the f-fucking w-worst." He choked back a sob

"No, it's okay Lance. I was hurt but..I am not anymore. The complete asshole, he will pay for what he's done to you.. " Lance was unsure of the ' _he will pay._ ' but he knew that Keith was his protector? no, but Keith sure was  _something_.

 

"I'm so so s-sorry Keith."

"Don't be. " Lance felt safe with Keith.

 

Lance stayed in Keith's arms for a couple more minutes before they both pulled away. 

"The night I saw you again Lotor had kicked me out of the dorm for the night and I-"

"You need to leave him Lance." Keith got very assertive, but there was something in his eyes that made Lance's heart melt.

 

Lance wiped his eyes and sighed.  "I know. I just..I have nowhere to go."

 

"You just can live with me. "

"I don't want to be a bother."

" You won't be. Lance, that isn't healthy, that isn't okay. He is abusing you Lance."

 

Lance looked away from Keith, ashamed, and at the wooden floor. 

" I know." He said in a whisper. He didn't want to look weak in front of Keith anymore than he already had.

"Did...did he do anything else?"  Lance could tell that Keith feared the answer but...he had promised to tell Keith everything. He looked down at Keith's sheets. 

 

"He..He..."

"Lance?"

"He..."

Lance couldn't say it. It wasn't even that big a deal. He was probably making it a bigger issue than it actually was.

 "Lance? You're okay, but you have to tell me what he did." Keith stared into Lance's puffy eyes 

Lance responded in the smallest voice and the saddest eyes Keith had ever seen.

"He raped me Keith."

 

Absolute silence, Lance stopped crying for a moment

In that moment

Lance was unsure

Lance didn't know if that had happened

Maybe it didn't

He had never admitted it, even to himself

 

The silence was unbearable. Lance looked up and saw the look of absolute rage in Keith's eyes.

Lance was scared Keith was mad at him and stifled a sob. He was scared for Keith. 

"I'm gonna kill that son-of-a-bitch" he muttered under his breath. "He will fucking pay. I promise you. He will fucking pay." 

Lance felt relieved Keith's emotions weren't for him, But he was scared of what he might do to Lotor.

 

Lance looked into Keith's eyes. "Do..do you think that i'm disgusting? Since-"

"No." Keith said coldly, quickly cutting Lance off. 

"You are not. None of this is your fault, Lance. He is abusive and you didn't do anything wrong."

 

Lance moved into Keith's warm, safe, arms. Where he once again found comfort and the threat was long forgotten.

 

"Please Lance, you  _need_ to leave him." 

"It isn't that easy Keith." Lance looked up into the eyes he loved so much.

"I'll help you with anything you need. I just..you can't be in that environment anymore." Keith reached out and held Lance's hand again. 

"Lotor needs me though...he..he loves me." And Lance loved him, but he wasn't sure he could say it right then. Especially since every time, he looked at Keith he felt something warm in his gut.

 

"Lance..he..he isn't the only one." 

 

The two of them stared at each other. 

 

Lance didn't know who made the first move but he found Keith's lips on his. Once he processed this, he only kissed back harder. 

Lance allowed Keith's tongue explored his mouth. It wasn't long until Keith was on top of him. 

 

Keith put his hands around Lance's back and Lance found himself in heaven

Lance put his arms around Keith's neck.

 

They broke away for a moment to get air and Keith took a glance at Lance, before Lances crashed back into Keith for more. 

The kisses grew hotter and soon tiny moans escaped Lance's mouth. 

Keith ground his hips into Lance and soon they moved against each other. 

The friction was hot and Lance started to get hard, Keith could feel it.

 

"Lance!" Keith gasped. 

They continued for a couple of seconds until Keith pulled back. 

 

"Wait, we have to stop."

"Why?" Lance asked feeling confused.  He thought that Keith was into it too. 

 

"I just..your still with Lotor and I..I don't want you to do anything you might regret later I know that..it's very emotional right now and I don't.." Keith lead off. 

 Lance realized Keith might regret their encounter.

Although Lance didn't want to stop he knew he had to. 

"Okay."

 

The two got up. 

Lance glanced at his phone and saw that his class was over in 5 minutes. He needed to head out. 

Before doing so, however, he and Keith came up with a plan.

 

 

1) Lance would compile evidence of Lotor abusing him for the cops. Lance knew he needed to press charges..

 

2) Lance would gradually transfer his things from his dorm into Keith's. 

 

3) Once that was almost complete, Lance would tell the cops and would stay in Keith's dorm

 

4) Lance would finally talk to his old friends and apologize. And also hopefully, become friends with them again.

 

 

 

 

Keith bid Lance farewell, and Lance went on to the rest of his classes. 

 Lance was in higher spirits as he went through the class, he had a plan on how to get away from Lotor and he couldn't wait!

 

 

At the end of the day, he made his way back to Lotor and his (well..more of Lotor's) dorm. He walked into the room just to see Lotor sitting on his bed. 

 

"Hey, Lotor," Lance said, continuing through his normal routine of setting down his backpack and taking off his coat. 

"Hey, Lance. How was your day?" Lotor asked leaning back.

"It was okay, kinda boring though," Lance said with a shrug. 

 

"Oh really?"

"Yeah." 

"That's weird because according to Ezor, you were hanging out at the Marmora dorm today. Why was that?"

Lance felt his blood run cold. 

 

The girl with the long pink ponytail...

 

Of fucking course one of Lotor's friends saw him and tattled. That was just always Lance's luck. 

"I didn't-"

"Don't lie Lance." Lotor stood and towered over Lance. 

"Why were you there?"

"I-I."

"WHY WHERE YOU THERE?" Lotor shouted, grabbing ahold of Lance's wrist. 

 

Lance coward under Lotor's gaze and touch. "I..I was with Keith," he confessed, looking at the door. He wondered if he could make a run for it.

"Keith?" Lotor asked, his grip tightening around Lance's wrist.

"Keith..Keith...who is Keith? It wasn't-." Lotor stood in reflection before his expression turned a hundred times darker. 

"-Keith Kogane was is?" 

 

Lance looked down in shame. 

"You slut!" Lotor growled before shoving Lance down on the floor. 

"You went to fuck him, didn't you? He's your boy toy, isn't he? Your such a whore!" Lotor kicked Lance in his ribs and he whimpered in pain. 

"Oh shut up you slut, you don't deserve pity. You think he's better than me don't you?" Lotor asked clenching Lance's chin his hand. 

"N-No!" 

"You think he's smarter than me don't you?"

"No!" 

 

Lotor dropped Lance back the floor. "What am I supposed to do?" Lotor wondered aloud. 

Lance stayed on the floor in a ball.

 

There was an extended silence before Lotor kicked Lance again.

Lance winced in pain.  

"Get up, we're going out tonight." 

"W-what?" Lance asked, getting up slowly. 

 

"Were going out. I know how your going to make it up to me."

"Huh?'

"Because you are a slut and a lair your going to make it up to me. After that, everything's going to go back to normal, right?" Lotor sneered.

Lance stood but his head was tilted to the floor, he didn't dare to look up. He didn't respond. 

"Right," Lotor said for him. 

 

Lance felt everything crumble around him.

_What was going to happen now?_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for reading and for all of the lovely comments!!! They make my day!! :DD
> 
> Please let me know if you see any mistakes, my beta was unable to read this chapter  
>    
> ALSO I am not going to be able to update until December because I have a really BIG and important exam coming up and I need to focus on that. I will see you in December though so please stay tuned! 
> 
> Chapter title: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZFjauf_hZg&list=PLaX3xxh7v_WP7uBNHWNE49XuvdZItVUPL  
> My Tumblr: https://fantitanstar.tumblr.com/


	10. Tomorrow I'm gonna leave here. I'm gonna let you go and walk away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that this is worth the wait

 

 

Lance stood in front of the mirror located behind the dorm door and looked over his reflection. 

He looked worn down and just overall exhausted. The silver bracelet around his wrist taunted him every time he glanced down, the word 'Lotor' was on its charm, big enough to see from a mile away.

He checked his phone for messages (there were none) and saw that it was nearly 10:30.

 

"Come on babe get out here! We need to get going!" Lotor called from the hallway. 

Lance pocketed his phone and his wallet, grabbed his keys and went to Lotor. 

 

Lance felt guilt twist in his gut with the knowledge of what was about to happen. 

He opened the dorm door and joined Lotor in the hallway. 

"Finally. Let's go." Lotor grabbed Lance's wrist and directed him down the hall and into the elevator. 

Once the elevator door closed, Lotor turned to Lance and sized him up. 

"You look decent - I guess. Remember, you better be on your best behavior tonight or else." 

 

Lance shivered and looked down to the floor of the elevator. He had the assumption if he didn't behave it would be a repeat of two months ago.

Lotor wrapped a possessive hand around Lance's waist. 

"Don't fret darling, if you behave, it'll be okay." Lotor purred. 

 

The elevator opened up and the two of them walked out and into the lobby. 

 

As they did so, however, Lance looked up and his heart stopped. 

His eyes came in contact with all too familiar violet eyes. 

_Shit_

 

It was Keith.

 

Lotor continued to force Lance forward. 

 

_Was this his punishment?_

 

"Well, hello there Keith. How kind of you join us." Lotor said with a cruel grin.

Keith seemed stiff from where he stood and he looked at Lotor with a harsh glare.

 

"I will be honest, I wasn't sure if you would show up but of course you did. The second your bitch cries you come running. Isn't that right Kogane?" 

Keith tried to catch Lance's eye but Lance refused to look at Keith and instead fiddled with the bracelet around his wrist. 

"So...Lance didn't send me that text," Keith said, his stance hard. 

 

"Obviously not. Luckily, Lance easily compiled in providing his passcode for me." Lotor walked closer to Keith. 

 

_That isn't true._

 

Lance thought. He had been beaten until he had given his phone up to Lotor. 

Also, of course, Lotor knew his passcode. 

It was Lotor's own name. 

 

"As if," Keith sneered "Your an asshole who doesn't know when to quit."

 

Lotor chuckled. "I only texted you myself because Lance was too nervous to do himself."

Both Lotor and Keith turned to look at Lance who was hunched down. 

"Well..go on baby, tell Keith." 

 

Lance looked up and saw Keith shoot Lotor a furious look upon him calling Lance 'baby'. 

Lance shuffled forward. 

 

* * *

 

- _Flashback-_

 

_"Okay Lance," Lotor said tossing Lance's phone on the bed. "I texted you're boy toy, he should be here soon."_

_Lance looked down at his phone and saw the message Lotor had sent._

_L: Hey Keith, can you pick me up from my dorm? Lotor is out._

_K: Sure. Where is it?_

_L: The dorm address is xxxxxxxx Please wait in the lobby._

_K: Okay, be there in 15_

 

_It had been done._

 

_"Okay, now let me hear what you're going to say," Lotor said sitting down on his own bed._

_Lance fiddled with the hem of his shirt. Lance didn't respond and Lotor huffed in annoyance._

_"Fine whatever do it then. Just make sure to let him know that you're done with your little affair."  Lotor got up._

_"Hurry up, he'll be here soon."_

 

_Lotor stalked away._

_Lance wiped away a tear._

* * *

 

Lance shuffled forward closer to Keith. 

"Lance?"  Keith asked, his face reflecting nothing but confusion. 

 

"Keith I-" Lance's voice broke and he felt tears burn in the corner of his eyes. 

"-I'm sorry but..I don't..I-"

 

Lotor looked at Lance expectantly.  

"I-I can't Lotor." Lance turned around and faced Lotor. 

Lotor turned his gaze to Keith swiftly. 

"Lance doesn't love you, Keith. He never did. He just went off and did something stupid and now he wants you to leave." 

 

Keith tried to catch Lance's eye but Lance kept his gaze firmly on the floor. 

"That's bullshit. Do you really think that Lance would love  _you_? You abuse him. physically AND emotionally You don't love him, he doesn't love you." 

 

"Abuse him?" Lotor said with a scoff.

"You don't know shit Kogane, you never did. Lance and I love each other more than you could ever comprehend." Lotor said roughly. 

 

"Oh please, you think that you're so secure in your relationship with each other? Lance told me everything you did to him you ass. Your out here blaming him for shit that you do daily. Do you seriously think that Lance wouldn't leave you right now?" 

 

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"Lance," Lotor said turning to Lance. 

"Go on, tell Keith that you don't love him." He ordered. 

Lance brought his gaze to Keith's. 

"I don't love you." He muttered. 

 

"What?" Keith asked, his tone confused and hurt. 

"I don't love you," Lance said again, with more force.

"You don't love me?" 

"No," Lance said, he felt tears flow down his face. "I don't...I never did.."

 

"You didn't? Not even last night? Not even in high school." Keith sounded defeated and hurt and that broke Lance. 

Lance turned away and wiped his tears although they kept coming. 

"I-I...I did!  I do! I just.." 

A new wave of tears escaped Lance and he could tell that Keith was now crying as well.

 

"Lance-" Lotor started before being abruptly cut off. 

"No! Stop it! I can't do this anymore!" Lance cried out. 

 

Lance turned to Keith. 

"I love you okay? I have for so fucking _long._ "

Lance turned to Lotor. He forced himself not to cower under Lotor gaze.

"And me? Did you never love me?" Lotor said.

His voice showed no real fear, as though he had already assumed that Lance would do as he says. 

"I did! But then..but then you changed!" Lane said with a cry. Tears were still flowing down strong. 

 

Lance walked away from Lotor and grabbed ahold of Keith's hand. 

"You don't love me. I am worth something and I'm tired of living like this!" 

Lance ripped off his bracelet with Lotor's name and flung it at him. 

 

Keith unfroze and quickly lead Lance to the exit. 

"Get back here you whore! You're nothing without me!" Lotor screamed after them. 

The door shut behind them.

 

Keith and Lance made it to Keith's car and the two of them sat there in silenece. 

 

"Are you okay?" Keith asked, reaching out and holding Lance's hand in him own. 

Lance turned and smiled at Keith before placing a light kiss to Keith's cheeck. 

 

"Never better." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The whole Lance punishment/the Lotor and Keith fight was based on that one scene in The Great Gatsby.
> 
> Also lol what season 8?
> 
> ALSO, I AM SO SORRY ABOUT NOT UPDATING!  
> The test I took was crazy and I got really sick :(((
> 
> Chapter Title: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETVjll5eR88


	11. Sometimes I feel like I want to go back, to time before my mind turned black

 

Keith drove the two of them to his dorm. 

The trip was silent, the two of them processing what just went down. 

Lance was lost. 

 

He had never walked out on Lotor. Sure, Lotor had done it numerous times but he himself had never dared to, even when he had really wanted to. 

 

Lance felt a mix of emotions. 

He felt powerful, he had never dreamed of standing up to Lotor. It felt good to have done so. 

He felt scared. He didn't want to know what would happen if he were to ever see Lotor again. 

He felt above all, relief. 

For the first time in almost a year, Lance felt as though he could breath. 

 

 

 

Once they arrived at Keith's dorm, it was dark out. 

Keith parked and the two of them wordlessly exited the car. Keith buzzed them in with his pass and they went up the elevator. 

"So.." Keith said, his tone light and weary. "How..how do you feel?" 

Lance considered the question. "I'm feeling okay." he said after a moment.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

 

Lance shifted his weight. He felt slightly awkward now, he felt a little bit of tension around the two of them. Romantic tension. 

What would happen now that Lotor was out of the picture? Would they both date? Lance hoped so.

"And..you?"Lance asked, glancing at Keith. He turned to Lance, confused. 

" _Me?"_   He asked in surprise. Lance nodded. 

"I'm okay."

"You aren't mad are you?" Lance asked, shrinking into himself slightly. 

"Mad?'

"Mad at me I mean.."

 

He had kinda set Keith up. Although Lotor had done it he was kinda guilty right?

It was his phone that Lotor had used after all to call Keith over.  And he had dragged Keith into this messy situation after he had thrown Keith away.

The guilt was still there and it was slowly crushing Lance. 

 

"No, of course not!" Keith said in alarm running a hand through his messy, long hair. "Lance, it's okay you didn't do anything wrong. If anything, I'm mad at Lotor for being a dick." 

Lance let out a breath of relief. 

"Lance, it's okay, I could never be mad at you." Keith said in earnest. 

Lance gave him a small smile. Keith reached out and lightly squeezed his hand. 

 

They arrived at Keith's floor and the two of them walked down the hallway of familiar doors down to Keith's dorm room. 

Keith opened the door and the two of them walked inside. 

Thankfully Keith's roommate wasn't there. But he never was so, that wasn't too surprising. 

 

Lance sat down on Keith's desk chair and Keith sat on his bed. 

"So.." Lance said leading off. 

He now took in Keith and his bright kind eyes and strong figure. 

He no longer felt guilty about feeling on Cloud nine around Keith. 

 

"So..is there anything you want to do? Maybe to help you get your mind off of..what just happened?" 

"I don't know..maybe we could.." Lance trailed off and eyed Keith's lips. 

Memories of kissing Keith flashed in his brain and he felt the urge to press his lips to Keith's. 

 

Acting on that thought, Lance got up from the chair and sat down next to Keith. 

"Could do what?" Keith questioned, looking nervously at Lance.

Keith looked in confusion at him as Lance cupped his face and leaned in to place a kiss on Keith's lips. 

Keith however, drew back in surprise. "Umm.." 

Lance looked up and saw the look of alarm on Keith's face and felt a sense of dread fill him.

 

Was Keith not interested? 

 

"I-I just thought that well..we kissed yesterday and I just.." Lance got up from the bed and stood. "I just thought that you wanted to date me.." 

Lance looked down on the carpet and felt shame. _That was a pretty stupid thing to do._

 

"I-I do but it's just.." 

Lance looked up and saw a look on sadness on Keith's face. 

"I..I care about you very much Lance, you know that right? You've been my best friend for so long and you've always supported me. You're fun and kind and..of course I want to date you." 

"Really?" Lance asked, hoping that he didn't sound needy. 

"Really. It's just.."

"Just?"

Keith took a deep breath.

 

"I would love to be with you Lance but, I don't think that right now is a good idea. You just left an abusive relationship and I don't want you to feel pressured."

"But I won't. You aren't like Lotor." 

"Lance, I don't think it's a good idea. I think that you need to talk to a professional about Lotor."  Lance knew that Keith wasn't going to budge. 

"I really like you Keith.." Lance said in a whisper. 

 

"I know..And I like you too. I think that for now we should just be friends and then maybe see where it goes. Is that okay with you?" 

Lance felt slightly crushed but although he didn't really like to admit it, Lance knew that Keith was right, he couldn't just jump into another relationship.

He needed time to move on from Lotor and that should hopefully not take too much time to do. He knew that he needed to talk to a professional. 

 

Lance nodded and pulled Keith into a hug. When they pulled apart, Lance laid next to Keith.  Keith talked about his classes that he had had that day and Lance was happy to listen. 

 

 

The two of them cuddled for a while until both of their stomachs growled, making the two of them laugh. 

"Do you want to have some intent ramen?" Keith offered. 

"Yeah, that'll be nice." 

 

Keith got up and began to fix it up while Lance sat on Keith's bed. 

He felt a fluttering sensation upon looking at Keith and he knew what it was. Keith was an amazing person and Lance really appreciated all that he had done for him. 

He would make sure that Keith knew this. Keith was an amazing person and friend. And maybe even one day, they would be more then that.

 

For the time being though, Lance knew that he needed to call his family. He hadn't talked to them since well, since he had ditched his friends. He glanced down at his watch and saw that it was nearly 11pm.

Yeah, he had to wait to do that until tomorrow. 

 

Lance and his family had always been close but when Lotor started to control Lance, he hadn't been allowed to talk to them. 

He hoped that his family would understand. 

He hoped that tomorrow, when he would call, they would be as understanding as Keith was.

 

Keith returned with the ramen and the two of them watched John Mulaney, laughing all night. They stayed like that until they fell asleep. 

Lance found sleep easily and peacefully next to Keith. 

He finally, for the first time in nearly a year, felt relaxed. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all had a wonderful holiday! 
> 
> Please let me know if anything is misspelled or grammatically wrong. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are much appreciated!
> 
> Chapter title: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyYvqlBNASM  
> Tumblr: Fantitanstar.tumblr.com


	12. All alone I watch you watch him, like he's the only boy you've ever seen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keiths POV for once (dun dun dun)

 

Keith woke up the next morning to a loud ringing.

 

He sat up with a groan and saw that he had fallen asleep beside Lance. 

Keith smiled gently at the sight. The two of them used to do this all the time when they were younger. 

When things were easier...

 

When he looked at Lance, his heart skipped a beat, he longed to stay cuddled up under his blanket longer but he knew that he needed to get to band practice.

Band practice happened weekly and he knew that he would be reprimanded if late, even though it was just a band he and his friends had made. 

 

He quietly slipped out of the bed and changed. He silently cursed Shiro for scheduling practice in the morning. 

 

He moved around his dorm in silence, getting ready for the day hoping not to disturb Lance. Once he changed into new clothing he grabbed a granola bar off his desk.

He glanced over to Lance's sleeping figure and felt his heart quicken. 

Lance looked so vulnerable and peaceful as he slept.

It had never been a secret that he had had a crush on Lance since middle school. 

How could Keith not?

 

Lance was selfless and kind-hearted. He had been the one person who really tried to get to know him.  

Seeing Lances smiles and hearing his jokes had been the highlight of Keith's day.

 

How dare Lotor do what he did to Lance...

 

 

"Hey Lance," Keith said, lightly shaking Lance's shoulder. 

Lance groaned and rolled over. "Huh?" he asked, sitting up. 

Lance was sporting a crazy bed head and Keith kept in a laugh from the sight. 

 

"I'm heading out to practice soon and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come with?" 

 

The question hung in the air for a bit before Lance smiled and nodded. "Sure! Give me 15 minutes." 

 

Lance, suddenly, full of energy, got up from the bed and suddenly came to a stop. "Hey um..can I borrow some clothes?" Lance asked shyly, looking down at his clothing from the previous day. 

Keith nodded and pointed to his closet "Sure." 

 

" Thanks!" 

 

It didn't take too long for the two of them to leave. Keith loaded his bass into his car before they left and it wasn't long until they were driving to practice with Ke$ha playing from Lance's phone. Lance sang and danced along next to Keith from the passenger side. 

 

It was honestly relaxing to see Lance goofily sing along. Keith couldn't remember seeing Lance do that in a long time. It was nice. 

 

The ride went on like this until they pulled up in front of Shiro's house.

Band practice was usually held there. Even though Shiro no longer went to college, he lived near campus with his boyfriend Adam. 

The two of them were those cheesy couples that had matching t-shirts and used a crazy amount of PDA and had cute pet names. 

Keith adored them both.

 

Shiro's family had adopted him when he was 10 and although he had been a tough kid, Shiro never gave up on him, neither did his parents. 

Shiro looked out for him. 

 

Adam was always kind and sassy. When Shiro had introduced him to Keith it had been clear that the two of them were absolutely perfect with each other. They were actually perfect together. 

Adam had become another adult/brother figure in his life. He sometimes talked to Adam about things that he didn't even feel comfortable telling Shiro about. Adam was understanding and just an amazing person. 

 

" So..the whole gang is going to be there?" Lance asked after a minute.

_ Oh shit _

Keith wanted to hit himself with a pole. 

Of fucking course, he had forgotten that the gang was going to be there. He was so accustomed to it that it hadn't crossed his mind.

That was dumb, considering the whole issue that had happens the last time Lance had seen them. Keith felt so stupid and guilty that he hadn't even thought about it.

 

"Shit I'm sorry Lance, I didn't realize..if you want I can drive you somewhere else. You don't have to go in, I'm sorry that I brought you-"

" No, it's okay.. I...I want to do this."

 

"Huh?" Keith asked in shock. "Really?"

Lance sighed, " I can't avoid the inevitable, I need to just face what I did and make it right."

 

" You don't need to do this Lance.."

"I know..I want to."

Keth nodded in understanding. 

Keith got his bass out of the trunk of his car and they both walked to Shiro's door. The weather was becoming colder and it was almost 4 weeks until winter break.

They both walked up to the doorstep and Keith rang the doorbell. 

"Do you want a safe word?" Keith asked. 

"W-what?" Lance asked nearly jumping, looking at Keith in alarm. Keith flushed the moment that he realized what he said. 

"No no no I just meant like, a code word. Maybe so I know if you're feeling uncomfortable." Keith shifted uncomfortably. "I didn't mean it in a sexual way sorry, I made it awkward.."

 

" It okay I get what you mean now. I actually kinda like that idea..how about blue?"

"Okay."

 

The door opened and he came face to face with Shiro. 

"Hey," Shiro said in surprise. He glanced back and forth between Keith and Lance curiously. Lance took Keith hand behind their back and squeezed his hand. Keith sent him back a reaffirming squeeze.

 

"Well, come on in."

Shiro lead the two of them to his living room where they sat side by side on the couch. "Can I get you something? Maybe tea or coffee?" Shiro suggested. 

 

"Takashi, who was it?" Adam asked, entering the room. He saw Keith and Lance and paused, Keith knew that he was assessing the situation. They all knew about the incident and Keith had only recently told them about it. Adam smiled warmly after a moment. "Hello you two, how is it going?"

 

"Good."

"Can I get you anything?" Adam asked, unaware of the fact that Shiro had just asked them this. "Coffee?" Keith asked hopefully.

"Sure, anything for you Lance?" 

"Oh um..I'm okay.."

"Alright, i'll be right back." 

 

Adam placed a kiss on Shiro's head before leaving the room, Shiro leaning into the affection.

Adam left them in an awkward tension. 

"I didn't expect you to be here so early Keith," Shiro said, breaking the silence. 

"Early?"

 

"Yeah, it's 10 and practice isn't until 2." 

"2? since when?"

"Romelle and Hunk needed to work this morning and we agreed to change the time. Didn't you read the group text?" 

"No sorry," Keith said sheepishly.

 

"Well, your both more than welcome to stay until then." 

"Thank you," Lance said softly. 

Keith turned and looked at Lance. He seemed stressed and Keith shot him a gentle smile. 

 

Adam soon returned with the coffee and began to grill Lance about his classes (something he usually did to Keith). Shiro seems slightly tense around Lance but was trying his best to be kind.

 

Keith excused himself to the bathroom after a while (that gosh darn fiber bar).

He looked at himself on the mirror and sighed at his reflection. 

He never thought he would end up like this. 

Being in foster care had been hard. He had learned from a young age how to hide and close himself off. He had never really cared about school or other people. Heck, he never imagined going to college until Shiro did.

 

Liking Lance and being Lances best friend has been hard. 

Lance had always been charismatic and had had a lot of relationships growing up. It did kinda hurt but Keith being the best hider there was, bared this feeling deep inside himself. 

 

When Lotor had come into the picture Keith had absolutely hated him. 

He knew that something was off when Lance would pull away from the group and would have random bruises. 

He knew that Lotor was hurting Lance but never had he ever dreamed that it had been as bad as it was. 

He was a fool. 

He should have done something sooner. 

 

It hurt. Lance liked Lotor even though he treated him like crap and Keith knew that Lance probably still did. Toxic and abusive relationships were hard. That's why he didn't want to date Lance now even though he really wanted to. 

He saw the way that Lance had looked at Lotor. 

Keith wasn't an idiot. 

He knew that Lance had been in love with Lotor.

 

And that was okay. He knew that the whole situation was complicated and that it wasn't his place to talk about it really.

He didn't want to be a rebound. 

That would kill him. 

 

He had been convincing Lance to see a therapist and he was hopeful that everything would go well today. He was going to be there for Lance.

Keith wasn't hurt by what had happened during that fight anymore. 

He knew that others were though. 

Meh could only hope they would be willing to listen to Lance. 

 

He left the bathroom and joined Lance, Adam, and Shiro back in the living room. 

"Hey Lance, do you want to hear me play?"

 

Lance brightened up. "I would love to."

" You two go to the basement, I have some work to do," Shiro said standing, taking the empty mugs. 

"Okay, dad," Keith said with a grin before standing and taking Lance with him to the basement. 

 

 

It would be okay.

Hopefully...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I didn't update! I have some personal issues going on...  
> For this chapter I wanted to step back and take a look at Keith. I don't think that there has really been too much about him yet. 
> 
> ALSO OMG DID CHOLE TWEET ABOUT THIS FIC?????  
> I am going to pretend that that tweet was referring to this :'))
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!!!  
> Comments and Kudos are much appreciated!!!
> 
> Chapter title: https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D7Rb7pnjbe4Q&sa=U&ved=0ahUKEwjy4Zftxt3fAhUFPq0KHVhgDyMQtwIISjAL&usg=AOvVaw0bCswdR-fdI5OHZuzS13NH
> 
> My Tumblr: fantitanstar.tumblr.com


	13. You broke me, now I can't feel anything

 

Each hour that passed filled Lance with anxiety.

Each minute brought him closer to seeing his old friends and that was scary.

 

He had no idea what would happen nor what any of their reactions would be. Adam and Shiro were pleasant but he could tell that Shiro's reactions were strained and honestly that was understandable. He wouldn't blame Shiro for kicking him out of his house quite frankly.

Keith and Lance were currently in Shiro's living room. A couple of hours had passed with only a few awkward moments. Shiro wanted answers, and although he didn't really push Lance to give him any, he had brought it up enough times for that to be obvious.

 

"So..are you planning on staying for the entire rehearsal?" Adam asked polity.

" I mean, that's that plan.," Lance said fiddling with his sweater.

 

Almost on cue, the doorbell rang.

All four of them looked at each other.

" So..how are you going to do it?" Adam asked, shifting his gaze back and forth between Keith and Lance.

 

“I dunno, I just gotta ask for forgiveness.”

Shiro stood up and went to answer the door. Keith reached out and held Lance’s hand in his and gave Lance a reassuring smile.

 

It’ll be okay, they miss you too.”

They listened as the door opened and a sweet female voice came into the air.

“Hello, Shiro! Sorry that we’re late but Pidge and Allura just _had_ to make us stop for coffee.” Romelle said with a teasing tone.

 

“Hey! We were up all night and morning writing new lyrics because _someone_ didn’t like them” came Pidges exasperated voice.

“ Keith’s already here but umm..he brought someone..” Shiro said as the sound of the hardware floor creaked, signaling that they were all entering.

Lance leaned closer to Keith and Adam shot Lance a reassuring smile.

“OOooo is it a boyfriend?” Pidge asked with a wicked laugh.

 

And just like that, they entered the living room.

 

Romelle walked in first with Hunk right beside her. They both froze upon seeing him. Lance turned his gaze to the floor, he felt so vulnerable.

 

Hunk was the first one to speak.

“L-Lance..”

Lance looked up at Hunk.

 

Hunk had always been Lance’s best friend. He had known him since high school and if there was one person that had been closer to Lance than Keith, it was Hunk. Now seeing Hunk made Lance’s heartbreak.

 

He couldn’t look at him in the eye so he looked down to his knees.

 

God, he was such a dick.

 

They all stood in silence until it was broken.

“How _dare_ you show up here after what you did,” Allura said, her arms crossing over her chest.

“ Why would you bring him here Keith?” Pidge asked, in the same annoyed tone that Allura had spoken in. “Have you forgotten what he did to us?”

 

“Look I..I was hoping that we could talk…” Lance said he fiddled with the end of his shirt, not meeting anyone’s eye.

 

More silence.

“Fine,” Allura said after a minute. “You have 3 minutes.”

 

They all filed into the room, sitting down as far away from him as possible.

 

Lance didn’t blame them.

 

“Look, guys, I ran into him two months ago during my night shift,” Keith began. “And he was sitting at a table all alone with a black eye and well..he needed somewhere to stay so I let him stay at my dorm,” Keith explained.

 

Adam stood up. “Let’s all just calm down okay? I’ll bring some tea.” he left the room after shooting a nod at Shiro.

 

“Look I..I am really sorry. I just think that you all have the right to know what happened and if you don’t want to hear it I understand. I can go but I just wanted to at least apologize.” Lance said softly.

 

“Lance..you know that this is weird right? Last time we saw you, you were screaming at us and now you just came unannounced?” Romelle said leaning into Allura.

 

“ I know and I’m sorry.” Lance shrunk into himself. He forced himself to look up after a second of composing himself.

 

“ You were all just trying to help and I just turned against you. I am sorry, I wasn’t in a good place. Allura, I’m sorry that I called you a slut, you are far from one. ”

Allura looked at him in alarm.

“You are such an amazing person and I just..what I said wasn’t true at all. Hunk, I’m sorry that I called you stupid. You really are a smart hard working person and I know that you were disappointed with your final. I am so sorry.”

 

He then turned his gaze to Romelle.

“Romelle, I’m sorry that I called you useless. You are such a good friend and you always know what to do in a dire situation. I am more of the useless one. I’m sorry.”

 

He finally turned to Pidge who was looking at him in surprise.

“ Pidge, I am sorry that I pushed you. I shouldn’t have done that and I just..I was hoping that I could make you hate me and I am sorry.”

 

“Why were you hoping to make me hate you?” Pidge asked eyebrow raised.

 

“Lotor didn’t want me to be around you guys..”

  


“What is even up with Lotor? What were you not telling us?” Hunk asked, shifting in his seat.

 

Lance took a breath. “Well..it wasn’t a good relationship after a while. It was good and sweet and fun at first but..gradually..it turned toxic. He wanted to know where I was 24/7 and he wanted all my passwords. He didn’t want me to hang out with you guys and he hit me when I didn’t listen to him..”

 

They all looked at Lance with wide eyes.

“That’s why I started that stupid fight. I..I thought that if I made you hate me it would be easier to let go but it wasn’t.” Lance wiped away a tear that began to slide down his face.

It was still hard to talk about.

 

“Were..were you being abused?” Romelle asked in a whisper, hesitation clear in her voice.

 

Lance nodded and wiped more tears away.

 

“I am so sorry guys. I know that this doesn’t make up for it but I want to make it up to all of you.”

 

Suddenly, Lance found himself wrapped in the arms of his old friends. 

Lance laughed through is tears and bared himself in his friend's touch.  

The shock of the contact made him stumble backward. 

“Shhh..let’s just hug it out.”  Hunk spoke into his neck. 

Lance laughed through is tears and bared himself in his friend's touch. 

It took him a moment to realize that they were all crying with him. 

Although he knew this process of healing would take a long time, he allowed himself to feel happy for a moment. 

 

Maybe it would all end up okay after all. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Comments are Kudos are appreciated! 
> 
> Chapter title: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26PAgklYYvo  
> My Tumblr: fantitanstar.tumblr.com


	14. I'll be there with a love that's strong, I'll be your strength

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you just love it when you accidentally delete the tab with your finished chapter on it without saving :')

 

Lance was feeling a hundred times better.  

He had admitted that he had been abused by Lotor. He had even told his old friends (friends? Lance wasn’t sure actually) this too. It was a step.

Even though he had not told his friends the full extent of it, he was still proud of himself. Telling his friends about everything was something he still wasn't ready for. 

The rest of that day had gone pretty smoothly. 

Lance had stayed and listened to the band. Apparently, they usually went to a local open mic held at the restaurant where Keith worked.

They were an impressive band. 

 

Keith played the bass (something he had always played since high school). 

Pidge had picked up the guitar.

Unsurprisingly, Romelle was a singer (she used to talk about how she had been in all her high school and middle school shows). 

Allura was on drums (something Lance remembered her picking up freshman year of college) and Hunk (who told Lance he was classically trained) was on the keys. 

 

They mostly played originals but on occasion, they would play some pop or alternative songs. It was pretty cool to hear them play.

 

They all were amazing!

 

Now that Lance had begun to repair his old friendships he knew that it was time that he talked to a therapist.

Keith had been nothing but supportive about the whole thing. He even helped Lance do research. 

Lance was endlessly grateful for Keith.

 

It didn't take too long for him to find a possible therapist. He only did have a few options outside of the school (a place of which he didn't want to go to). He thankfully had found a man named Dr. Smythe. He had scheduled an appointment for the next week. 

So, things were looking up.

 

That brought Lance to now. 

He and Keith were currently walking through the wintery December air to get to an ice-skating rink nearby. The crunch of snow beneath Their feet was drowned out by their talking.

 Lance and Keith had decided it would be nice to get out for the remainder of a weekend. Ice-skating was something that the two of them used to do all the time growing up. So, when Keith has recommended it, there was no way Lance could say no.

 

He had missed ice-skating. When being with Lotor he had never gotten the chance to go. Plus, ever since he got to college freshman year, he hadn’t thought about looking for an ice-rink. But regardless, there was one in the area and he wanted to go.

 

Lance shivered and wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck. "It's so cold." He whined.

Keith looked at him with an amused glint in his eyes.  "Do you want my scarf?" 

Lance looked up at Keith, blushing slightly. "Are you sure?" 

"Yeah," Keith said unwrapping his scarf from around his neck.

"It's no problem. Plus, I run warm." Keith wrapped the scarf around Lance haphazardly.

 

Lance smiled and adjusted it properly around his neck. "Thanks." 

Lance swore that Keith flushed before turning back forward. 

 

"So..when did you have a gig?" 

"Oh um..actually the next open mic is next week. But it's just gonna be me this time.”

”Oh okay. What are you gonna perform?” Lance asked moving a piece of hair behind his ear. 

"I'm not sure yet. I still got 2 weeks to figure it out though." 

"I would love to go and see you," Lance said nervously fidgeting with the cuffs on his jacket. 

 

Keith smiled at Lance, making his heart beat faster. "That would be awesome." 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They finally arrived at the skating rink, Keith holding the door for Lance as they walked in. 

Once getting their skates, they made their way out onto the ice. 

There weren't that many people in the rink, only a couple of fellow college kids and a couple with their child. 

They both got their skates and made their way out on the ice. 

 

When they were younger, the two of them used to race around the rink.

Whoever lost would have to pay for the hot chocolate afterward. Although Keith usually won, Lance still had great fun and memories. 

Those were the good old day weren't they?

 

The two of them skated around the rink, Lance watched as Keith gracefully glided across the ice. 

"You should do it compete one day," Lance said with a grin, watching Keith.

Keith smiled but shook his head. "No thanks, I'll leave the ice skating to Adam Rippon." 

 

"You know, I am so excited that we are here." 

"Me too. I hope that we don't fall though, that wouldn't be fun."

Lance giggled at him and continued to skate.

 

As he skated away, he didn't notice the lovestruck look on Keith's face.

 

Gradually, the other people at the rink left and soon it was just the two of them on the ice. 

"He,y Lance! Do you want to race?" Keith asked. 

"Yeah! So long as your okay with buying me a hot chocolate."

"Oka,y Lance whatever you say." Keith said, smiling at him.

 

Dang, Lance's heart could not handle that smile.

 

"Oka,y shorty let's get going."

"Lance, you know that I'm taller than you know right?"

"Shorty hurry up." Lance said with an amused laugh as he moved to the side of the rink.

 

One they both made it to the side of the rink, they began the countdown.

"Okay...3....2...1!" 

 

Lance pushed off the ice quickly. 

The rink wasn't big and the race ended quickly. 

But regardless, Lance went as fast as he could.

 

Lance was victorious.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two of them made their way to Starbucks and it thankfully wasn't that full. Keith didn't mind at all about paying. 

After they ordered (and Keith paid for) their drinks they sat down at a small table.

It was a nice cozy place. The buzz of the people around made Lance feel cozy.

"It seems like you are enjoying yourself." Keith said taking a sip of his drink.

Lance snapped out of this thoughts and looked at Keith.

 

"Of course! How could I not be!  Today had just been amazing Keith." 

Keith smiled once again. "I'm glad that you are. I like seeing you happy." 

 

Lance paused and looked at Keith, cheeks flushed. 

"Look Keith, I am really great full for everything. Not just for have you have done today, but really, for everything." 

Keith reached across the table and took Lance's hand in his, lightly squeezing it. 

"Hey Lance, it's okay really. It's not a problem."

Lance looked down at their hands and mustered up the courage to speak.

 

"Keith I..I know that we are waiting on dating but I just..I feel like.."

Lance took a deep breath.

"Keith, I love you." 

 

Lance looked up nervously and saw Keith blushing. 

Cute.

"Lance, I feel the same way. You've probably known that for a long time." Keith said, still red and biting his lip, clearly nervous.

 

Lance nodded and looked down.

"I wish that I never dated..well, you know who. I wish that I wan't so dumb. I wish that I had seen that you were right their all along." 

Keith squeezed his hand again. "

Lance, I don't care about that past okay? I love you, and I don't care about whatever may have happened between us then. I really care about you." 

Lance smiled, brushing away a small tear that had gathered in his eyes away with his free hand. 

He loved this boy.

 

"And, I am going to support you no matter what." Lance smiled at Keith who returned his smile. 

Lance felt warm and safe.

"Me too. I want to be there for you too."

"You already have Lance. Remember when we were younger and I didn't talk to anyone? You were the one that helped me open up."

"Yeah but-"

"And I mean, you helped me a lot by listening to me talk about my parents. You've always looked out for everyone Lance. You've always looked out for me. It's about time that I do the same."

Lance smiled. "You know you have helped me too. Whenever I was getting picked on for being bi you would always stand up for me. Your so brave Keith. I really admire that." 

 

Keith squeezed his hand again. "Your amazing Lance." 

"You are too." 

 

 

The snow continued to go down outside but Lance didn't pay it any mind. 

For right now, he had then. 

And he knew that maybe, just maybe..things would turn out okay. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cute skating date? Yes, please! 
> 
> Sorry for the lack of updating! I have been super busy. A lot of school/social stuff :(  
> I have never been ice-skating (sadly) but I love Yuri on ice so...expert?  
> Also (some maybe exciting news) I wrote a song for this fic! But idk how I am gonna put it online so please stay tuned in for that 😁
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated :D
> 
> Chapter title: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-apaIOOoAo  
> My Tumblr: fantitanstar.tumblr.com


	15. Authors note

Hello everyone! 

Holly molley! 5k hits!! I am so honored!! Honestly, this is such a big milestone for me. Thank you!!!

 

Thank you all so much for the kudos and comments! I really do appreciate all of you!!

I am sorry that I have not been able to update for a while but I promise that I am still continuing this fic. I should hopefully have the next chapter up by the end of the week.

thank you all so much for being patient!!

Stay safe :DD

-FanTitan


	16. I know I'm not alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith's POV  
> Also some mentioned smut  
> Also sorry that this is late.

 

Keith and Lance continued to go on cute dates throughout the month. 

Keith honestly was so smitten with Lance and it was fun to hang out with him again. They were now official but taking their time. 

Plenty of kisses and hugs though. 

 

Lance also had begun to spend more time with the gang too. It was nice to see everyone together after so much time. 

Winter break was steadily creeping forward, and Keith knew that Lance was conflicted on whether or not he should return home. 

 

Lance had told Keith that he hadn't talked to his family for months and Keith knew that it was still hard for Lance to talk about his family. 

 

Keith had known the Mcclains for years. 

They were fun-loving people who loved each other no matter what. All of them were the picture-perfect family that he had always dreamed of having back at the orphanage.

When Lance had come out to his family as bisexual, he had not been met with any harsh words. He instead, had been embraced by his family. 

They always had a big family get together and nice delicious dinners together.

And in some ways, they were Keith's family too.  

 

 

Keith planned to stay for the break at Shiro and Adams place and had extended an offer to Lance to join.

Shiro and Adam lived near campus and his birth mom and foster parents were going to fly in. Lance hadn't given an answer yet (understandably) and Keith honestly hoped that either way, Lance and his family made up. 

Lance had blocked Lotor's number and had screenshotted all of his texts as evidence. He was taking Lotor out of his life gradually and it had a visible good effect on him. 

 

Until then, Lance was currently still attending therapy with Mr.Smyth. Keith drove Lance there and would hang around to drive him back. 

Lance was making a lot of progress. He had begun to be less anxious and more of his old outgoing self. 

It was nice to see him laugh and smile more.

 

Lance had asked for a new room change and thankfully, was given one. 

Although he had yet to report Lotor, he was working on his case. They couldn't afford a lawyer on their own and that was where the problem was. 

That was one of the reasons, a very small one, why Lance needed to reach out to his family. 

 

But anyways, Lance had a new roommate who seemed kind enough. All Lance needed to do was move in. 

 

That brought them to now. 

Standing outside Lance's old dorm room with some boxes. 

 

They both stared at the brown dorm and Keith felt Lance shift nervously next to him. After a moment, Lance began to speak. 

"He should be out. I know that his American Government class started 20 minutes ago so..."

Keith reached out and took Lance's hand. Lance looked up and met his gaze. 

Keith gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile, and squeezed Lance's hand. 

 

"Whenever you're ready."

Lance took a couple of deep breaths before he slowly took out his dorm key. Once the dorm opened, they both were faced with a thankfully empty room. 

Keith let out a sigh of relief and they both walked in. 

 

Lance and Keith worked quickly, gathering up all of Lance's belongings and placing them into boxes. They had brought only five so they had to stuff them.  

Lance threw in his clothes into the majority of the boxes. Keith helped Lance stuff all of his textbooks and notebooks into a decently sized backpack. 

Keith kept his eye on Lance as they packed everything up and he noticed that Lance was actively avoiding looking at Lotor's side of the dorm. 

 

He would move in a manner to make sure that he wouldn't have to even look in the general direction. 

Keith honestly didn't blame him. 

He didn't even want to begin to imagine what Lance had had to endure in the room they stood in. 

 

Lance and Keith worked together and it wasn't long until everything was all packed up and ready to be moved to Keith's dorm.  

 

Once they were finally done, they both looked around at the dorm room. 

Lance's side was completely bare. Keith turned and saw the distant look on Lance's face. Lance looked as empty as the room did. 

Keith reached out and took Lance's hand in him. He gave his hand a gentle squeeze and tried to meet Lance's eye.

 

Lance looked over at him, tears clearly visible in his eyes. 

Keith gave him a reassuring smile. "Whenever you're ready."

 

They stood there a moment longer till Lance let out a deep sigh and picked up the boxes. "I'm ready."

 

And with that, they were off.

 

Once everything was loaded into the car, they both sat in the car in silence. "How are you feeling?" Keith asked turning to Lance with worry.

Lance turned to him and gave him a smile. "Infinitely better."

Keith smiled back and pulled him into a hug. "It's going to only get better I promise." 

The look Lance gave Keith made his heart skip a beat. And suddenly, Lance was leaning in closer. 

 

Keith allowed himself to be dragged into a deep kiss with the boy of his dreams. 

He was addicted to the feel of Lance's lips. They moved together, Keith's heart beating fast in his ears. 

He was drunk off of Lance. 

 

Keith couldn't bring himself to stop. He wanted it goddamn it.

He had wanted it for years. 

Lance continued to press into him as well. Lance wrapped his hands around Keith's neck and it wasn't long until Lance somehow ended up in his lap. 

Things continued to grow warmer.

 

It came to a halt however when they began to grind into each other. 

"Wait," Keith said pulling away. 

 

"Yeah?" Lance asked, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheek. He looked so vulnerable and hot from where he sat in Keith's lap. 

"Do you want to stop?"

 

Keith considered the question. He ran his hands along Lance's hips. 

He wanted to continue. He and Lance had gotten closer and they had had plenty of time together. 

He just wanted to make sure that he wasn't the rebound. That's all. 

 

"I-I don't. Do you...Are you sure you want this?" Keith asked. 

Lance leaned in close and buried his face in Keith's neck. "Yeah. I do."

 

"You're sure?" Keith questioned. 

"Fuck Keith," Lance said pulling his head away so he could look at Keith in the eyes. 

"I fucking want you. I love you, Keith. You are so kind and strong and caring and so hot."

 

"I-I just want to make sure that Lotor-"

"Lotor? Who cares? I don't care about him, Keith. I for once am gonna do what I want, and be with you. Unless..you don't want to. And well, in that case, I understand and-"

Keith was the one to cut him off.

He pressed a deep kiss to Lance's lips. When they both pulled back for air they were both flushed and dazed. 

"I want you Lance. I care about you so much." 

 

Lance gave him a dopey grin. 

"Let's just get back to my dorm first." Lance laughed and nodded before rolling out of Keith's lap into his seat. 

 

"Sure thing mullet."

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 Keith lay panting next to Lance, the smell of their lovemaking still in the air around them. Lance took off the used condom, and discarded it in the trash next to the bed. 

Keith rested his head of Lance's shoulder, his hips were blissfully sore from Lance pounding into him. Keith felt as though he was floating on a euphoric high. 

 

" How are you feeling?" Lance asked pressing a kiss on Keith's forehead. 

Keith sighed and snuggled in closer to him. 

"I'm okay, only a little bit sore." 

 

Lance hummed and pressed another kiss on his forehead. 

"Let's get you cleaned up shall we?" 

Lance shifted out of the bed and with Keith's guidance, he was able to find some wipes. 

 

He gently cleaned Keith up. Once he was done, Keith and Lance settled down again. 

"Lance..I've never.." Keith lead off blushing slightly. 

Lance nodded in understanding. "I know. You sure you're holding up okay." 

 

Keith nodded. There had always been a piece of him the had hoped that Lance would be his first. And now that it was a reality, Keith honestly felt blessed. 

Although it was kinda painful, Lance had made sure to be careful and did everything he could to make it feel good for him. 

Keith blushed now just thinking about the loving words Lance had whispered to him. 

 

"How was it?" Keith asked nervously. Although this was his first sexual experience, it was no secret that Lance had had that several times. 

 

"It was amazing Keith. I love you so much you know that right?" Lance said with a smile. Keith melted. 

"I love you too." Keith was completely red at that point. "Is there anything you need me to get for you?" Lance asked, rubbing Keith's back. 

"No I'm fine right now. Maybe we could cuddle and watch something?" Keith asked, looking over to Lance. 

 

"Of course honey. What would you like to watch?"

 

The rest of the night was spent with Keith laying in Lance's arms and watching queer eye. It had been a day of progression for both of them. 

Lance had moved out officially from his old dorm and their relationship was now official. 

 

And as Keith lay there he knew, there was no where else that he rather be.  

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg thank you so much for 5k hits omgggg  
> It really means a lot really!! :D  
> I love reading all of your comments, they encourage me to write!
> 
>    
> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated :)
> 
> Chapter Title: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsTPBPCAW0s  
> My Tumblr: fantitanstar.tumblr.com


	17. I don't need you to fix what i'd rather forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know that it's been a hot second....  
> A lot of end of school year stuff is happening. But here you go!

 

Moving on takes time... A lot of time. 

At least, that's what Lance has realized. 

 

It had been one month since he had last broken up with Lotor. 

It had been 2 weeks since he left their shared dorm. And since he and Keith....

 

Sex with Keith had been slow. 

Keith and Lance had been taking things slow and softly which was good for both of them. 

He did want to have sex with Keith and he felt more comfortable being the one topping. 

 

Lance was now actively filled his life with more positive things. He had been attending a support group and regular therapy sessions.

 

Lance was working on his self-love. It still felt shameful to talk about his abuse but with his supportive friends and boyfriend by his side, he was gradually becoming more open about talking about everything with them. 

It really helped that they were all supportive and wanted to listen to him. 

Keith and his friends made sure to always be around him and Lance appreciated it.

 

He knew that he would never be able to "move on" from what Lotor had did. He could, however, work on helping himself gain some control and self-worth that Lotor had taken away from him.

He had begun to take up different activities to feel more control. He began to take apart of things such as attending yoga classes, writing a diary, and just talking to his friends.  

He also had gone to the police and handed in all the evidence he could. The case was still in the process of being built so for now all Lance could do was wait. 

Winter break was just around the corner which is why Lance was currently standing, shifting from foot to foot, staring at his mom's contact. Although Keith had invited him to spend the holidays with him, Lance felt like he should spend it with his family. 

He really missed them. 

 

It was Tuesday and he had no classes until 3. 

He knew that he needed to talk to his parents. He was out of time and excuses. 

Dr. Smythe had given him some guidance about speaking to his parents. It was nerve-racking but a least he had mentally prepared himself. 

It was now or never. He took a deep breath before pressing call.

 

The phone only rang twice before it was picked up.

" Mijo?" his mother's voice came through the phone. Lance felt tears edge around his vision, it had been so long since he last had spoken to his mother. 

"Mama," Lance said in almost a whisper. 

"Lance? How are you?" his mom asked, worry present in her voice.

" I'm..I'm okay mama but..oh gosh so much has happened.." 

"Que paso?" 

 

Lance took a deep breath. "Do you remember Lotor?" 

"Yes mijo, I do, what about him?" 

"Well..we were dating and-"

"Wait! Lotor was your boyfriend?"

"Si mama. Pero..he wasn't a good one." 

 

His mom went silent.  

"What do you mean baby?" 

"Mama, fue abusivo...He didn't let me hang out with Keith or go anywhere other than class. He didn't even let me call you." Lances voice shook a little as he spoke. 

"Lance..lo siento, no sabe. That's horrible!" 

"It's not your fault mom. Lotor.. he also.." Lance ran a hand down the side of his face. 

He knew that he would have to tell his mom the whole truth, one way or the other. 

"Don't tell me that he-" His mom led off, clearly afraid to end her sentence. Lance felt tears in his eyes. 

How does one even tell their own mother that they were raped? 

 

"Mama...he took advantage of me." Lance said in a whisper. 

His mother gasped and that sent Lance over the edge.

 

" Lo Siento mama. Lo Siento." Lance sobbed.

" Hijo! It's not your fault! Don't think for one moment that it is." 

"I feel so ashamed...I let you all down."

"Let us down? It's not your fault! That boy is evil Please tell me that you have talked to the police." 

 

"I have. I also am as far away from him as I can be. Keith he..he helped me."

"I'm glad to hear that! Please come back home, I know that you are going through a lot and you have your familia. We love you. No matter what."

 

"Thank you, mama." Lance said wiping away some remaining tears. 

"Of course." 

"Keith really helped me. He is really supportive and understanding. He actually really supported me and helped me when I was stuck with Lotor. Keith.." Lance led off.

"Let me guess? You two are dating now?" 

 

"Yeah.." Lance said cheeks flushed.

"Finally! That boy loves you, Lance. He is a good boy, I'm happy for you." 

"Thank you, mama." 

 

"If you ever need anything honey, money or someone to talk to you call me okay? I am here for you." 

"Okay! I'll talk to you later! Count on me being there for Christmas!" Lance said with a smile.

"Okay! Adios!"

"Adios!" 

 

Lance hung up and collapsed into his bed, sighing in relief. 

So much of his stress was now gone. He smiled to himself thinking about what his mother had said. 

 

 

He now remembered, he always would have his family. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Again, I apologize for the lack of update. 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter title: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPvO1sZkOx0  
> My Tumblr: Fantitanstar.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> October is domestic violence awareness month and I hope that this fic helps to bring some awareness. 
> 
> The title is from an Oliver! song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dnwi6uvEkA8


End file.
